Two simple things anyone can do when getting alongside someone… 

Before anyone got alongside me and discipled me, I was a struggling Christian. I gave my life to Jesus when I was 11 but I didn’t really know what it looked like to live my life for him each day and I had no idea how to engage with the Bible. I attended church, youth group and summer camps that all pointed me to Jesus and got me hyped up, but I had no clue how to sustain that feeling or apply it to my daily life.  

I struggled for years – striving to be perfect each day and failing, wanting to tell people about Jesus but not feeling up to the task.  

By the time I started university I was exhausted. I knew that I had a fresh start and a choice to make: stop going to church and walk away from a faith that felt like a mountain I was not able to climb, or to keep on keeping on. 

But the Spirit of God lives in me and I couldn’t ignore him. So, I found a church and joined a student small group. Some of my friends then began meeting older students and graduates to talk about faith and read the Bible together on a regular basis. I remember so desperately wanting someone to meet with me because I saw the impact it was having on their journey with Jesus and I really wanted help to grow. So, I asked the Lord for someone who could come alongside me. 

A year into university a graduate called Caitlin invited me for coffee and I jumped at the chance. I can’t remember anything about that first meeting other than how delighted I was to have someone invest in me. 

That began two years of regularly meeting with Caitlin (weekly/fortnightly) and probably one of the most transformative seasons of my life. I grew in my understanding of who God is, who I am and how he views me. The unscalable mountain I had pictured faith to be finally felt climbable for the first time. I began to grasp what it looked like to walk with Jesus in my daily life and share him with others. 

The value of space… 

Caitlin didn’t do anything particularly out of the ordinary. She simply met with me on a regular basis and gave me space. I look back and cringe at how much I probably talked at her, but she never begrudged me that time (even when it was 3 hours). 

The space between us was filled with conversations about God and about life. It held questions, confusion, joys and sorrows. There were undoubtedly lots of sidetracks, random conversations and laughter too. Sometimes we read through a Christian book (some I liked more than others), sometimes we talked about different Bible passages and other times we just talked and prayed.  

I don’t know if she had a set plan. I think she just listened to who I was, where I was on my journey  and asked for the Lord’s help. I imagine the books and Bible bits she chose and our conversations were led by that.

The value of love… 

The most profound thing Caitlin did within that space was that she showed me the love of God in how she listened to me, accepted me, cared for me and showed me kindness. She reflected God’s grace, his compassion, his kindness and his goodness in her love for me.  

My whole life has been deeply impacted by Caitlin faithfully following Jesus’ command to make disciples, and to love others as he loves her. It transformed my walk with Jesus and inspired me to get alongside others and help them grow. 

She simply gave me space and loved me. 

Caitlin’s reflections… 

I asked Caitlin about her reflections on that time and she said this: 

‘I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Initially we read two books together but after that I think then we just met, talked and prayed. I think it was just being in each other’s lives and giving Shona time and love. I don’t think I’ve become a better disciple maker with time, I feel like God used that relationship, when I was 21/22, just as much as he has in later years in life… 21/22-year-old me was able to do as good a job as me when I had my Masters in Counselling and more training. It was more about time, love and just being there. Not overthinking what it had to look like. I definitely didn’t have some big game plan, I was just delighted she wanted to meet with me.’

You can be a Caitlin… 

God can use you in someone’s life in the same way he used Caitlin in mine. Even if your time is limited, your capacity is low and you feel like you haven’t a clue what you are doing. It doesn’t have to look like a 3-hour coffee – it could be 30/45mins. Or it could be a slightly chaotic meal, a walk, a car journey. You may not always be able to open the Bible together, but you can pray together.  

Never underestimate what God can do through you when you choose to get alongside one person, show them love, give them space and share your life with them.

A resource for you… 

Gathering wisdom from a number of Navigator reps and associates,  I created a booklet as an aid for getting alongside someone. It’s full of stories and suggestions of how you might go about getting alongside someone and what that might look like. It offers a framework for you to tailor to your unique relationships.