Who do you admire?

My first experience of one-to-one discipleship was organised for me. The person I was paired with was passionate about living by the word of God, but our personalities clashed. I learned a lot but sometimes felt that our relationship was about ticking the discipleship box rather than being authentic. I realised that approach was in danger of making me more Pharisee-like than Jesus-like.

‘Who do you admire? Whose walk with God and marriage and way of life do you aspire to?’ When a friend asked me this question, I felt the freedom to approach another woman, whose whole life I respected, and ask her to disciple me.

It was obvious that she was firmly rooted in God’s word. When she asked me questions to help me apply it, they were delivered in an encouraging rather than condemning way.

Digging deeper

She helped me process various stories and experiences that had formed me, showing me how to dig my life deep into God’s truth. She challenged me to keep at it. She wasn’t afraid to open up personal topics in the light of Scripture.

She was available to me, despite being a very busy person. I had a sense that she really cared about me, that she valued me and time spent with me. I felt like I was a big part of her life.  

It never felt like a hierarchical thing, which is common in Kenyan culture, but a genuine friendship. She shared her life and her issues with me.

Ongoing impact

My family has since moved to the UK but, whenever I reach out to her or visit Kenya, she makes time for me. I still see into her everyday life when we talk, even remotely.

This relationship has had a huge impact on the way I draw alongside those around me here in London. God’s truth remains true wherever you are!  

As I disciple my son, I stay grounded by asking fellow Christian mums questions like, ‘What is God saying to you?’ and ‘What do you do about Halloween?’ or whatever issue I’m wrestling with. These friends are a big part of my life and I deeply value them and their company.

I try to share my life, to genuinely care for the person, and to bring God’s truth into their situation and mine, gently and with love. I say, ‘Let’s look at what his word says, together.’ And I am learning to be gentle with myself when I make mistakes too.