An excuse expert

I grew up in a Christian home and from my early teens I believed that Jesus died for my sins and I wanted a relationship with God. However, I made a lot of excuses for not engaging in typical Christian practices like attending church, reading my Bible and regularly praying. When challenged on this, I would simply respond that I could be a Christian without doing all that extra stuff because I knew Jesus Christ is Lord and he died for me.

Fast forward to when I moved away from home to go to university in Aberdeen… I wanted to enjoy the full student experience – drinking and partying, etc. I intended to join a local church, but my attendance was sporadic.

I spoke to a few Christian friends at uni about what was going on. Yet every time I admitted my behaviour, I would follow it up with excuses. I was still trying to protest that, even though I knew I was living in sin, I was still forgiven because I believed Christ died for me. Unfortunately, the friends I spoke to either struggled with the same temptations I did, or they went along with my excuses and did not really try to challenge me. One of them, however, really encouraged me to go along to her church, so we started walking there together on Sunday mornings.

I began attending this church in my final year of uni. I joined the worship band and was there most Sundays. I was engaging in a lot of drinking and partying, but I was feeling more convicted about my lifestyle.

Empty to wholehearted

One Sunday, the family worker at church sat next to me and asked if we could grab a coffee that week. We began meeting up to chat about life and faith. She challenged me on how I was living. She did not go along with my excuses, nor did she accuse me of being a ‘fake’ Christian. Instead, she patiently and passionately pleaded with me to trust that God asks us to take up our cross and follow him because he loves us.

God knows what is best for us. The life he offers is better than anything I was chasing at university. God commands us to flee from sin because he knows sin is always bad for us (an obvious biblical truth, which I was blinded to). God made us and knows what we need better than we do. He commands me to read my Bible, pray, attend church and serve others because these practices nourish me and help me grow.

The more my friend shared that message with me the more freedom I felt to leave behind my empty sinful lifestyle and pursue God wholeheartedly. She held me accountable and was very direct when asking me questions, not willing to accept any of my excuses. It is an approach that I really needed but my other friends were perhaps too timid to try.

I understand that holding people accountable can be so tricky because if you push too hard it can sound self-righteous and judgemental. This friend spent a lot of time investing in our friendship and just doing life with me. So, when it came to keeping me accountable, I was receptive to her advice.

Boldly and lovingly

I know God placed this friend in my life at the right time. He gave her the words and the patience to get alongside me. He gave her the confidence to challenge and support me. It has made me reflect on the way I get alongside others.

I am the type of person to passionately challenge sin in wider society, but I will shy away from it with those close to me. I am so desperate to keep the friendship strong that I don’t want to upset others. But I have seen and experienced how essential accountability is in discipleship.

We all struggle with sin. That is no secret. We all make excuses for it at some point in time. I needed someone to boldly call out my sin and lovingly help me to flee from all temptations. I hope and pray that God gives me the wisdom and discernment to do the same for those I am alongside.