Intentionality is one of the four principles of an effective alongsider, together with being Kingdom-focused, generational and relational – they form four spokes in The Alongsider’s Bicycle illustration. Maintaining intentionality in the midst of so many competing demands for our time and attention isn’t easy. Here are four ways of doing so:

1. Begin with the end in mind 

Back in 1989, Stephen R. Covey published The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It went on to sell over 40 million copies around the world. His second habit was to begin with the end in mind and to imagine what you would like people to say about you at your own funeral.

It may sound morbid but living with the end in mind means we live more intentionally. Paul describes death as the last enemy (1 Corinthians 15:26), but an enemy can also be a powerful ally, heightening our awareness and leaving us with a desire to live less on autopilot and more on purpose. It reminds us that the way we live now has an impact on the legacy we leave behind.

2. Have an inspiring view of heaven and the life to come

My wife Anne sadly passed away last June and I have been greatly comforted by Jesus words to the thief on the cross, ‘Today you will be with me in paradise’ (Luke 23:43). The word used here for paradise (paradeisos) is derived from the Persian word for a garden or orchard and is a wonderfully tangible image of heaven. Anne is now walking with Jesus in a heavenly garden, a heavenly orchard. We could translate Jesus’ words as, ‘Today you will be with me in the garden.’ As I write this article, I am sat in my own small garden on a beautiful autumnal afternoon; heaven feels very real and it is a reality I want others to share in.

3. Be an alongsider in all of life

Alongsiding is not ‘something else to do’ – an add-on. It is a way of life that permeates all our relationships. Anne lived as an alongsider in 3 crucial areas:

• She invested in generations of children as a teacher. We can draw alongside people and see what God is doing in our place of work. Simply communicating to someone that we are listening, taking them seriously and seeking to understand them goes a long way. When I changed jobs many years ago a senior manager wrote, ‘I believe you are the only person who has fully understood us in this Department.’ I was amazed.

• Anne invested in dozens of young women in her time as a Navigator Rep. Not many of us are called to be full-time Reps, but we can draw alongside people in our churches and in our communities. Some years ago, a lady wrote to the Navigator office, ‘I went to Cardiff University 1982-87. I was cared for and led to Christ by a lovely lady, Anne Davies… I have never forgotten the love she shared.’ Years later, another person said, ‘I wanted to write and thank you for your investment in my life. I remember sitting in your home as you helped me and others prepare to lead Bible study groups. Your patience, love and time were so supportive. It really gave me the confidence to get on and do it.’ This person went on to be a missionary for many years.

• And finally she invested in our children. Anne loved being a mother. Our children’s spiritual foundations were laid in their early years far more by Anne, than by me. And she must take a lot of credit for who they are today and for their continued passion for Jesus.

4. Be with like-minded people

It is hard to ‘alongside’ alone – and not very biblical either! Many years ago a person in our church had a vision of a hot coal by itself and a hot coal alongside many other hot coals. A hot coal alone cools quicky. Many hot coals together stay hot for longer. So, if you are feeling isolated and in need of inspiration, why not become a NavNetwork member and join others who share your passion? Or join a City Collective, if there is one near you. Or simply pray and look for a like-minded friend.

With all this in mind, I am encouraged by a verse that is in the Topical Memory System and which I memorised as a new Christian over 45 years ago:

‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers.’ (Galatians 6:9-10)