I bumped into a friend whom I hadn’t seen in years. It was good to catch up on family life and reminisce about our student days, yet amidst the halcyon memories of our early 20s, there was one that stood in contrast from all the others. It was our shared experience of unemployment.

Ambition humbled 

That period of my life was a confusing and difficult one. I had left university with big ambitions, believing God would lead me into the civil service or an NGO to bring about change for his Kingdom … but he had other ideas. The first few job applications I made led to interviews and, though I was unsuccessful, the feedback was positive. But the momentum didn’t last, and before too long I wasn’t getting many responses to my applications. Weeks turned into months and my certainty of calling evaporated – and with it, my confidence. When I finally found employment, it was in a profession for which I was untrained and had little desire to pursue as a career. I felt like God had forgotten me. 

With the passage of time, I can see the evidence of God’s grace during these years. I was humbled through this experience. My character was shaped by the Father’s hand in a way that would not have been possible had my ambitions been realised. I also learned some vital lessons about drawing alongside someone who is experiencing unemployment. Let me share some of them with you.

1. Be available
When I was at my lowest, I received a message from Peter. He had heard that I was out of work and was struggling in general. Though we had not seen each other for a couple of years, he asked to meet for coffee and to spend time reading the Bible together. This became a regular fixture; some structure in my otherwise aimless week. His willingness to be available was a great blessing and the time we spent together allowed me space to reflect upon what God was saying in this barren season.

2. Be empathetic
In our culture, we are generally good at rejoicing in each other’s achievements, but we don’t have a great understanding of how to respond to another’s failure. I once had a friend rebuke me when I told her about my frustration at my stuttering career. Her contention was that I wasn’t grateful for what God was doing in my life and instead I was focusing upon my unmet expectations. There was some truth to what she said, but the reprimand only made me feel guilty and didn’t engage with the sorrow I was feeling. In Romans 12:15, Paul commands the believers in Rome to ‘rejoice with those who rejoice’ and ‘mourn with those who mourn’. As disciples of a Saviour who came to bind up the broken hearted, we must take seriously this command if we are to reflect his character.

3. Draw them into community
It’s important to be aware that Paul was not writing to an individual but to a community of believers, and his appeal is part of his wider teaching about the Body of Christ. Therefore, when supporting an unemployed friend, remember that you are not alone. Whilst searching for work, I had several friends who, for various reasons, also found themselves unemployed. We met for breakfast and would pray for each other’s job search. This was helpful to me because it coaxed me out of introspection and enabled me to minister to the needs of my friends.  

4. If you make a promise, follow through
In my bid to forge a new career path, I sought advice from someone who worked for a prominent Christian charity. He was full of encouraging words and promised to put me in touch with several contacts who would be able to help me. When a week had passed and I hadn’t heard anything, I sent a gentle reminder about his promised introductions. I never heard back. Jesus commands that we do to others what we would have them do to us (a command rooted in our love for God). We must be mindful of this before making light-hearted commitments without considering their impact on others. 

Life goes on 

Bumping into my friend brought back memories of difficult days but it also caused me to reflect upon the ways God had blessed us both in the years since. When you're unemployed, it can feel like a rut from which you will never emerge. But life goes on, and God will move in unexpected ways. Cling to him, trust in his promises for your friends and yourself, and he will not put you to shame.