For a large chunk of my life, I never really felt known. I had friends but I didn’t feel free to be fully myself around them. I also didn’t relate to God as if he knew me.  

All that changed when someone got alongside me at university. We would meet regularly and talk about life, read a Christian book or look at part of the Bible over a cup of tea. Through that relationship a space was created where I could share myself more fully: my thoughts, dreams and questions, as well as my fears and failings. 

Part of the reason I felt I could be honest was because the person who got alongside me shared her life with me. Because she let me get to know her, I found myself able to trust her. The space she created became a place of deep transformation for me. It helped me discover more of God’s heart for me, his character and the rhythm of daily life with him.  

She imitated how Jesus connected with his disciples. Mark 3:14 says, ‘He appointed twelve that they might be with him…’ He spent time with them, shared meals, passed on his wisdom and practical skills. He showed them what life in relationship with God looks like day to day. He knew them and allowed them to know him (John 10:14).  

The disciples were deeply changed by sharing life with Jesus and they learnt from him how to do life with God.

How do I share my life when it feels so full? 

My initial experience of sharing life to life was in a relatively unbusy life stage: university. I now find myself in a very different time of life. I have a job, I am married and have two young kids. Life with any one of those things feels busy and full. The question I have asked in more recent years is: ‘How do I share life to life now, in a time when it feels like there’s no space to sit and open the Bible together – at least not unhurried, uninterrupted time?’ 

I think the bigger question, at least for me, is: ‘Do I trust God to use my life, even now?’ Even when it feels a bit chaotic and conversation is fragmented. 

Rather than waiting for life to be less full, I can let God use me now, in the midst of it all. Afterall, it’s his heart for people to know and trust him, to go deeper with him, to live all of life for him. He doesn’t expect us to have it all together first. And he can do much more than I imagine through what little time or space I have to further his kingdom (Ephesians 3:20).

What could it look like? 

I recently started meeting with a young woman in her 20s, with my two kids in tow. There, in amongst snacks, hot wheels races, squabbles and a park trip, we had broken conversation about life and Jesus. It strikes me that, although a bit chaotic, I am sharing my life in a whole new way by inviting her to spend time with me right now.  

She’s not just hearing the words a say about life with Jesus over a cup of coffee but she’s seeing my life with Jesus live, in action. In some ways this feels intimidating because my life often feels messy. But into this life Jesus pours grace upon grace (John 1:16). How I do life with Jesus while it’s in full swing, reflects his goodness, gentleness and graciousness. My failings and my need for him every moment of every day, show his sufficient grace and power (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

It also allows her to share life with me in a practical way, as she distracts my four-year-old from a tantrum over his hat or pushes the buggy for my one-year-old to sleep. Jesus invited his disciples and others he met to help him – for example, to give him food or water. He helped them grow by allowing them to serve him and others (John 4:7, Matthew 14:16). 

When I think back to my time at university when someone got alongside me, the parts of that relationship I remember most were less of the specific conversations, the books we read, or Bible passages studied (though they were significant). It was the moments when she gave me a window into her life more broadly – introducing me to her friends and family, sharing the hardships as well as the joys of life. I got an insight into how to live life with Jesus day to day, in the whole of life.

What could this look like for you?  

I don’t know what season of life you find yourself in, but I encourage you to ask the question, ‘Do I trust that God can use me where I find myself now to bring transformation?’ 

Invite someone in. Have a meal or a walk. Share a lift or a spare evening. Call them up, catch up and pray. God can use whatever you have to give. Share your life and see what God does. 

I have no doubt he will do more then you could ever hope for – in your life and in the life of the person you get alongside. Ephesians 3:20 says, ‘Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church…’ so you can be confident that this God can use your life – as it is now – to show his glory to someone else.