A story of finding faith again through friendship and simple conversation.

Over coffee, a friend asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks: ‘How do you think God feels about you?’ 

My honest, unfiltered, raw answer was: ‘I don’t know.’

I grew up in Christian family and in 2005 I decided I wanted to give my life to God. Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I attended church and youth group, where I thrived and felt free.

However, in my early 20s I went to university, and I experienced two of the worst years of my life. I became incredibly lonely – to the point where it felt like I wasn’t even there. I fell into a deep depression and struggled with anxiety, which I continued to wrestle with in the years after uni. While faith was still part of my life, it felt very distant from me and from what I was going through.

In the dark

I’ve come to realise that God is always there and always in control. Even in the dark, there are always glimmers of light.

‘The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.’ (John 1:5) 

One example of this came in my final year at university, when I discovered a church not too far from where I lived. Standing outside it, I was utterly terrified. I stayed there for about 20 minutes, unable to go in. But when I finally did, it became my safe haven. 

I experienced profound moments in that church. I got to know people around my age, and at times it felt as though God was speaking directly to me through the talks. It became my anchor in the middle of the storm.

After finishing my studies, I had to move away, and I wasn’t able to find another church straight away.

In a coffee shop 

A little later, after the pandemic, when places began opening up again, a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time got in touch and asked to meet for coffee. At first, we talked about life at a surface level, but as we continued meeting, we dug deeper – eventually talking about where we were at in our faith journeys.

I was honest about everything that had happened over the past few years.

Somehow, it all came down that one question: How do I think God feels about me? I just couldn’t imagine what God could possibly feel towards me.

My friend asked if I’d like to study the Bible together, looking at the life of Jesus and what it all means. We have been meeting for around five years now, working through various studies.

At that time, this became church for me: meeting me exactly where I was, and intentionally turning to face God together. My friend was willing to walk that journey with me, and I was able to do the same for him. 

In the nitty gritty of life 

We then began working through a series of Bible studies called Learning to Live, exploring everyday, practical areas of life – mental health, work, money, relationships, singleness. 

To step into the nitty gritty parts of life – the areas we don’t always talk about – and to do that with someone I could be completely honest with, without fear of judgement, has become a pivotal chapter in my faith journey.

These weren’t just ideas about spirituality; they were things I could actually live out – in my week, my decisions and my future.

Since then, I’ve joined a church, been baptised, and made other genuine Christian friendships. Above all, I feel like my relationship with God is closer than ever. I’ve experienced some incredible encounters with God. 

I’m learning to bring everything to God – the good and the challenging. I’ve begun to trust God in a way that feels active and alive, rather than just words or concepts.

While I still have a long way to go, I can honestly look back and see how far I’ve come. Where I am now is completely different to where I was five years ago – in the best possible way. And I never would have expected it to begin through simple conversations with a friend in a coffee shop.

People often say, ‘God works in mysterious ways’, and I do believe that. But I’ve also come to see that God works in ways that are deeply personal – tailored to what each of us needs.

It was exactly what I needed at the time. And it led me here.  

So if someone were to ask me today, ‘How do you think God feels about you?’ I can honestly say:  

‘I am a child of God, and He loves me.’