What if one of the most important things we can do to help people encounter Jesus is simply to love them?

It sounds almost too obvious. But when we think about getting alongside someone, especially if that person isn’t a Christian, we can easily focus on the things we need to say or the events we need to run. We can become preoccupied with finding the right invitation, the right course, the right argument or the right opportunity.

Yet when I look at my friendships, I wonder whether evangelism often begins somewhere much more ordinary: with learning to genuinely love the people God has put around us.

Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23: 

‘The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.’ 

Love comes first. And perhaps that is significant. But what does it mean to love someone well? 

Love means being present

Biblical love isn’t simply a warm feeling towards someone. It is choosing to be with and for another person, acting for their good. It is generous, patient and committed. It isn’t dependent on whether the other person agrees with us, responds to us or eventually comes to faith. 

That changes the way we get alongside people. 

Over the years, friendships have developed between our family and people who wouldn’t describe themselves as Christians. 

One began through our children’s friendship and has now lasted for many years. There have been many everyday encounters: school, birthdays, sleepovers, shared activities and time together as families. Since our lives have been intertwined, the child has naturally found her way into Christian youth activities and Christian Union at school.  

Looking back, what strikes me is how ordinary it all was. Simply sharing life together created opportunities we could never have planned. 

Love creates space 

Another friendship began among the parents of our children’s school friends. A group of us started meeting regularly for coffee. What started as an attempt to get to know other parents became years of friendship, sharing the highs and lows of family life, supporting one another and being honest about the difficult stuff. 

Eventually, one of those friends unexpectedly asked if I could recommend a church. 

Her daughter had been struggling and, through a surprising chain of events, had become curious about Christianity. She had watched a television programme featuring a Christian family and found herself drawn to the way they lived. During a particularly difficult night, the mum tried praying and later described experiencing a profound sense of peace. 

Some months later we happened to attend the same Christian wedding. She talked about how much she loved the music and the atmosphere. I sent her a playlist of worship songs afterwards. 

None of this had been planned. 

There was no evangelistic strategy behind the coffee mornings. No five-step plan for getting a friend to church. 

There was simply friendship. Love expressed in time and space together, which built trust and a safe place for spiritual curiosity to emerge. 

Love trusts God 

A newer friendship has developed, again because our children have become close, despite our families having very different beliefs. The children come to our house, we welcome them in, and ordinary routines have developed, including dog walks and numerous play dates. 

If I genuinely believe that Jesus is good news, there can be a temptation to feel responsible for getting everyone else to understand that. We can become anxious about whether we’ve said enough, invited enough, explained enough.  

I find this particularly challenging. 

There have been moments when it has been very clear that Christianity isn’t something our friends are interested in. Invitations have been politely declined. But the friendship continues. And that matters. 

We can be confident about Jesus without being pushy about Jesus. We can speak honestly about our faith while respecting someone else’s freedom to disagree. And perhaps most importantly, we can trust God with the outcome.  

Love doesn’t disappear when someone says no. If our friendship with someone depends on them becoming a Christian, then perhaps what we’re offering isn’t really love at all. 

Love makes faith visible 

People don’t only encounter Christianity through our words. 

They encounter it through the way we live. 

They notice whether we are kind when it’s inconvenient. Whether we forgive. Whether we listen. Whether we make room for people who are different from us. Whether our faith makes us more generous, more peaceful and more joyful. 

Often, people notice how we live long before they ask what we believe. Our lives don’t prove Christianity, but the way we love can spark curiosity about the God we follow. 

But we can’t simply decide to become more loving by trying harder. It is a fruit, something that grows as we remain connected to Jesus and participate in the work of his Spirit.  

We can choose to remain close to ‘the vine’ (John 15). We can choose God’s way of life over our own. We can choose to forgive, to listen, to welcome, to serve and to keep showing up. 

And over time, something grows. 

Love is not a project 

Perhaps this is the biggest lesson I’m learning. The people around us aren’t evangelism projects. They are people to love. 

Some may eventually ask questions about Jesus. Some may come to church. Some may pray. Some may discover faith in ways we could never have predicted. 

Others may not. Our calling doesn’t change. 

‘We love because God first loved us.’ (1 John 4:19) 

And perhaps, as that love becomes visible in ordinary friendships, homes, school gates, office kitchens, shared meals and difficult conversations, people begin to see something of the God we are talking about. 

The most powerful evangelism may not always be a compelling argument or a perfectly organised event. 

Sometimes it is a friendship that lasts. 

A door that stays open. 

A welcome that isn’t withdrawn after a ‘no’. 

A playlist sent after a wedding. 

Coffee and cake every Friday. 

A dog walk on the way to school. 

A person who knows they are loved whether or not they ever believe what you believe. 

Because biblical love is not simply something we feel for people. It is choosing to be with them and for them. And perhaps that is where evangelism begins.