We live in a world that seems to offer us almost unlimited choices, whether that’s what to eat for lunch, where to go on holiday or what series to watch this evening. Choosing takes time and, whilst it can be an enjoyable experience in itself, often it’s just another chore. Nevertheless, if we want to eat or watch something, then we do have to make a choice.

To simplify things we fall into patterns of behaviour, perhaps letting other people choose for us or always choosing the same kind of thing. A friend of mine makes a point of always having something different from the menu when going to a restaurant.

When we take time to analyse our behaviour the results can be surprising. I am definitely a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person most of the time when it comes to making decisions, especially ones that involve others. Sometimes I think that it would be good to have stronger opinions or a clearer focus or greater purpose and then I start to wonder where those thoughts and ideas come from.

Good intentions

I first met the Navigators in 1987, when I was a student, not long after I became a Christian. I’ve stayed involved with the Navigators ever since, which is a significant chunk of my life. The Bible verses that I’ve probably thought the most about over all these years are Matthew 28:18-20. At the heart of these verses is the instruction that Jesus gave to his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations.

‘Disciple’ is not a word that we hear or use often in everyday life, outside of a church context. Most people understand what it means to be a disciple though; it’s about being an apprentice or subordinate or follower of someone else. Being a disciple is probably not what most people aspire to but when Jesus said, ‘Come, follow me’, to those he met along the way, we can sense that this invitation had far-reaching consequences.

To follow Jesus, to be his disciple is probably not something that anyone just drifts into. It involves choosing to listen to him and to learn from him. Jesus calls people to labour for him and to love like him. These four Ls – listen, learn, labour and love are not a definitive definition of what it means to be a disciple but they give a sense of what’s involved.

When it comes to Jesus’ final command to go and make disciples, I have to admit that I really question how much I’ve taken this instruction to heart. When I think of all the things that I’ve chosen to do since the first time I was struck by these words, I’m not sure that I’ve really risen to the challenge. However, I know that this is no time to be giving up either. A bit like ‘disciple’, the word ‘intentionality’ is not commonly used in everyday life even though we often talk about having good intentions. I would certainly like to turn my good intentions into something closer to intentionality.

God’s intentionality

‘Intentionality’ is defined as having purpose or being deliberate in the choices we make and the way we behave. It’s a word that I think I’ve only heard used by Navigators giving talks or seminars on disciple-making!

One of the things that I’ve really appreciated about the Navigators over all these years is the importance placed on everyday relationships. When being a Christian places us very much in a minority group and open to misunderstanding by the majority of people, I think it’s helpful to try to see our everyday relationships as a gift from God.

The people God has placed around us are not there by accident. Even if I struggle with my own intentionality, I believe that God is very intentional and I’m very thankful for that.

Intentional in the everyday

Bringing disciple-making intentionality into our everyday relationships begins by thinking about what we bring to our everyday relationships.

First and foremost, we bring ourselves, our unique, individual selves. We bring our unique experiences, our understanding, our perspective, all of which have been shaped by God to some extent. We recognise that we are not all that we should be or could be but, as the apostle Paul said, by the grace of God we are what we are (1 Corinthians 15:10).

We also bring things we remember to our everyday relationships, or perhaps more specifically, the things that God reminds us of. It might be something that we’ve read or part of a Bible verse that comes to mind or the words of a song. Seeds that have been planted in our hearts and minds at some point in the past which resonate in the conversations we have today.

Having the sense, or even the conviction, that God is at work all the time and in all kinds of circumstances brings a certain freedom to our everyday relationships. Freedom to speak or to listen, freedom to pray silently perhaps as we engage with what is going on in another person’s life. God is already involved because of his promise to always be with us and we have the freedom to choose to be actively involved in what Jesus is doing by following his lead in any situation.

This awareness of God which comes from his Spirit is another thing we can bring into our everyday relationships. An awareness of what God might desire for another person and what would ultimately be best for them gives us a divinely different perspective. We can always ask God to make us aware of the opportunities he is giving us, so that we don’t miss out.

Disciple-making intentionality is perhaps simply seeing what God wants us to see in our everyday relationships and then acting on that insight in some small way. It’s the way that Jesus lived his life, trusting his Father and not forgetting what he’d been taught. I know that it’s the way to keep from drifting into being spiritually ineffective and unproductive (2 Peter 1:3-8). I know I don’t want to be just going through the motions when something much more fulfilling is on offer.